“Simply put, grief can be defined as pain caused by loss.
Some dictionaries describe it as ‘mental’ pain or anguish, but anyone who has truly grieved knows that grief’s effects are not just mental. They are physical, emotional, relations, and spiritual – in other works they completely envelop your life. And while marked by common elements, each person’s grief is unique.” (Taken from “Finding Hope in Times of Grief.” Preston and Glenda Parrish, p. 57).
Observations of C.S. Lewis in his book “A Grief Observed” (p. xxi):
- “No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.”
- “There is sort of invisible blanket between the world and me. I find it hard to take in what anyone says.”
- “I not only live each endless day in grief, but live each day thinking about living each day in grief.”
- Grief still feels like fear Perhaps, more strictly, like suspense. Or like waiting; just hanging about waiting for something to happen. It gives life a permanently provisional feeling.”
- “There is spread over everything a vague sense of wrongness, or something amiss.”
- “Does grief finally subside into o=boredom tinged by faint nausea?”
Some relate to the stages of grief, which include: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. This may well be helpful but it should also be known that a person can jump around in these stages one to another or even all at the same time.
Many emotions occur in grief including fear, anger, sadness, guilt, revenge, bitterness, calmness, and even peace. There is no right way to grieve and any person may experience any or all of these emotions. There is no time limit to grieve.
Often we look for a formula to rescue us from the pain of grief. There is no formula. A formula would be impersonal, man-made, temporary, shallow. The essence of grief forces us to look to Him who is unchanging, faithful, loving, powerful – we must look to God. “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction…” (2Cor 1:3-4a). God the Father understood grief as He looked upon the cruel crucifixion of His only Son. He understands what you are feeling.
The book “Finding Hope in Times of Grief” concludes with this word of encouragement and challenge (p. 187). “We’ve found that, if we draw near to Him, He draws near to us. What is all comes down to is this:
- Jesus is enough
- Jesus is the only One who is enough
- Jesus is more than enough”
Romans 15:13 “Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believe, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit”.